Strawberry Panic: Winter Days
by HanazonoShizuma
Summary: Hanazono Shizuma miserable past life in detail. When Kaori died, Shizuma let herself being taken away by the desire to cover the hole in her heart and although Miyuki was always standing by her side, still...
1. Chapter 1

**STRAWBERRY PANIC : WINTER DAYS**

Light illuminates her bedroom window indicating another new day has begun. Hanazono Shizuma, awakened by the warm light she felt all over her body, was trembling as she rise up and drew the curtains to cover the sunlight that filtered through her window. She preferred her room to be as dark as possible, as if it could hide away her frustration that was locked and chained, almost like a sin.

Her green eyes seems wavering full of thoughts , ''That light... was almost like you...'' she stopped and squeeze her chest. ''My sweet lover, if only you were here with me, my chest wouldn't hurt as much as it is now, Kaori...'' muttered her with tears flowing down and finally to the end of her chin, which she didn't let it drop easily. Not now, nor in the future, that's how people expected from her, a perfect, strong Shizuma.

* * *

''Shi- Etoile-sama! It's time for the morning prayer! You should realize your position as an Etoile and dont you dare to skip or I'll double your work today!'' shouted someone from behind the door.

Shizuma sighed a bit. She didn't need to bother herself by opening the door to find out who was the one banging the door. She was just about to groom her beautiful grey, long hair and yet another distraction came. It was her roomate, Rokujou Miyuki. Only Miyuki would have the nerve to threaten her like that, especially because she is the Etoile, the highly respected and most loved person throughout the three school, Miator, Spica, and Lilim.

''Enter the room, Miyuki...'' said Shizuma with her usual soft, but slightly intimidating. People such as Miyuki, who was always around her day and night would straightaway notice her cold tone.

Miyuki enter the room by holding her breath and luckily, manage to give Shizuma a bold expression. ''Be quick, we have a hard schedule today.''

A smile appeared in Shizuma face but without fail, it's not really a warm smile. She glanced over Miyuki and stare at her for a while before she rise up. Shizuma's fair hand reached Miyuki's cheek and draw her face near each other. Shizuma, with her appealing eyes, alluring red lips, soft face-skin, no wonder all girls have their hearts stolen by this beautiful girl standing before her. No one has ever escaped from Shizuma's attractive gaze, not even Miyuki had. If just Shizuma was in the mood of biting Miyuki frail, thin neck, it wouldn't be as hard as Miyuki herself think.

Fortunately, she was just not in the mood. Shizuma simply grin at her, ''You are cute as always, Miyuki. What a shame that you almost forgot your duties as chairman of the student council. As compensation, I want you to groom my hair with that hand of yours...''

Miyuki suddenly startled and was really embarrassed. She, who was known to be a very strict leader almost turn into weak maiden by only a gaze! In a few seconds, Miyuki composed herself although however, her mind was still as blank as her eyes right now.

Miyuki reply in a low voice, ''Can't you do it yourself, Etoile-sama?''

She sat down in chair. ''This is a request... as an old friend. Besides, my hair was waiting to be embraced by you.''

Shizuma reached out to her. ''Come, Miyuki...''

''Just this once.'' said Miyuki as she started grooming Shizuma's hair. She always amazed by Shizuma loose and soft hair, it did not take much time to make up her hair.

''You look perfect.'' said Miyuki again after completing her 'compensation.'

She pulled away when Shizuma get up and bowed with respect to her. Shizuma smiled by her action. ''Now, lead me to the dining room where I will perform my duty as an Etoile.''

''As you wish.'' said Miyuki eagerly. Both of them walk out and the sound of the room being closed indicate that once again, the perfect Etoile was ready to welcome a new day ahead her.

* * *

The atmosphere around the dining room before was full of sound of chair being pulled, girls chattering and whispers everywhere. The dining room was spacious enough with a red colored carpet in which image of daisy flower was printed over the floor, five long table and many chairs carved by the finest carpenter with the finest wood, an old painting, and beautiful flowers placed on large vase filled the room.

Someone standing next to the door suddenly bowed, and everyone stopped their small talk and sit quietly. It was definitely Shizuma and Miyuki who create this whole intense situation.

''It's Etoile-sama'' whispered one person to the other.

''I'm so happy to have enter this school!'' reply the other with bright smile.

Shizuma walk gracefully with her deep green eyes observing the situation. She didn't like how other student reacts, it's like she is unequal to them. Certainly, with that brain, elegant posture and attitude, she is different from the rest.

''Good morning, Etoile-sama.'' greet someone, brave enough to release her voice. No one have ever dare to talk to her, so just in a second everyone eyes were glaring dangerously towards her.

Shizuma stopped and nicely respond to her greetings. ''Good morning, my sweet angel...''

''You're... Takahashi-san, correct?'' She nodded as Shizuma continued her lines. ''We're bound by destiny itself, my maiden. For you've shown enough sympathy and courage to greet me...''

''Shizuma, that's enough!'' stopped Miyuki from behind. She knew something unpleasant would happen if she didn't stop Shizuma from reciting her charming lines.

Shizuma sighed and turn around to face her friend. ''...Miyuki, don't you interfere my love life.''

''As your assistant, I have the duty to make sure everything going as planned, and flirting with other girl is not part of today's schedule.'' said Miyuki with sharp tone.

''You are a harsh assistant...'' Shizuma replied softly.

''Thank you for your compliment, Etoile-sama. The prayer was about to start, please get ready.''

Shizuma turned back and before going she give Takahashi a gentle smile. ''Adieu, sweet angel. I'll be waiting for the destiny to joint us together again, and hopefully, not with my assistant next time.''

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it, my first fanfiction. I'm going to do better next time. It takes two hours to make it... but I really enjoy writing about Shizuma-sama! If you enjoy it, please review. :) I'm hoping to write the second chapter as soon as I can!**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2 - DARK SIDE**

* * *

_I can hear the pixie cries_

_Breaking through the silent night_

_Howling of the winter sky_

_Lead the moon to his darkest light..._

Kagome close her book. She did not quite understand what exactly the poet was trying to say. After all, she was merely attracted by the gleaming fairy cover of the book, nothing else.

''...Pashibaru, I wonder why the pixie cries.'' said Kagome to her teddy bear while hugging him.

After a short while, she came into conclusion which she meant to be Pashibaru's answer.

''...You're right, Pashibaru. Maybe she was just so lonely...'' muttered her with sad voice.

* * *

**In the meeting room**

''Ahhhh! Just where the hell is she?'' scream Shion, the student council president of Spica.

''My deepest apologize. We've search for the last two hours, but it didn't bring any satifying result.'' said Miyuki calmly. She was annoyed as well. However, rather than making situation more complicated, she decided to stay calm. President of Lilim, Chikaru merely chuckle by both parties action.

The meeting was about to discuss this year play. Miator, Spica, and Lilim cooperate together for the yearly performance every year, but... it doesn't seem the Etoile herself take interest in this. In the end, purpose of this meeting has been changed by those two girls. This is what happen if Shizuma skip the meetings and unfortunately, she often skip. Leaving those three girls waiting and waiting, until they start quarreling.

Chikaru place her eyes, looking outside the window. _How peaceful and settled the outside world are... I can even hear the chanting within the church. No wonder she flee herself... _Chikaru sigh heavily and smile ..._from __this cozy, luxurious cage of hers. Nah, I'm sure she's there, under the trees, just like the olden days. But it will not be so interesting to tell them where she is, so better I keep quiet and let it be... interesting. _

* * *

''Shizuma-oneesama...'' she murmured with her eyes yearning for passionate kiss which Shizuma gladly grant her wish. Kissing her deeply and more deep, as time flows between them. Nevertheless, the girl sharing kisses with Shizuma seems like the only one cherishing every second they spent together.

''Takahashi-san...'' Shizuma panting and take a step away from her. She wipe her sweat off her forehead, staring at the maiden standing before her.

''Onee-sama... am I not enough for you?'' ask her disappointedly, she looks that she was just about to burst into tears.

Shizuma turned around and walk away. ''You're not... the one meant for me...'' reply her coldly.

* * *

**THAT NIGHT IN SHIZUMA'S DORM ROOM **

The sound of water splashing and warm water pouring her face and body calm her nerves. After a short time, she came out of the bathroom with tired face and sat down in her comfy bed. She observe her room. _Still the same as always... the only thing different here was simply just me. __  
_

Cring! The dark blue necklace, the proof of the Etoile which she wear it since she rule the position, fall down from her neck.

''Oh...'' said her weakly. At the same time, she tried to reach her necklace and when finally grasped it, something occupy her blank mind.

_''Shizuma!''_

''_Don't run, Kaori. Your health will drop down again.'' _

_(Kaori hand over a box to Shizuma cheerfully)_

_''What is it? It's a fancy little box.'' tease Shizuma while accepting the wooden box from Kaori and opening it. _

_''A necklace..?'' asked her. The necklace she hold was beautiful, with a dark blue stone, as blue as the ocean and the other still laying on the box with a lovely red stone. _

_Kaori laugh and pick up the red necklace. ''It's a proof! We're both Etoile now and that means we have the right to own this necklace!''_

_''Yes... I remember correctly both the former Etoile wearing this. I'm so happy, Kaori... We are officially the Etoile's now.'' exclaim Shizuma with joy on her heart._

_''Shizuma... i don't think I will live until the day we turn back both the necklace to the church...'' said Kaori softly._

_After hiding her own fear of losing her, Shizuma hug Kaori with her desire to make Kaori feel secured. Even from her own weak, frail body which Shizuma has been wanting to embrace all day long. _

_''Kaori... as long as this necklace bear my name as it's owner, I swear I'll protect you as an Etoile and as your lover. I wont let anyone hurt you, so... please, just don't say anything which will make my oath to you a mistake.'' reply Shizuma, releasing her hug._

_Kaori blush a bit and smile happily. ''Shizuma, let me be with you for the rest of my life...''__Kaori hug Shizuma's back so that she can't see her face._

_''...in your heart...'' continued her as tears forming in her eyes drops down quietly._

''Kaori... I'm so sorry...'' said Shizuma sadly. She squeeze her necklace tightly until drops of blood flowing down her hand but still, her heart feels aching.

''What do you feel at that time...? What do you think of me when I made such an oath to you...?'' ask Shizuma heavily, realizing deep down in her heart nothing would answer her delayed question...

* * *

**A/N: Finally chapter 2 is release. It eats up my Sunday though... but I was just so happy writing about Shizuma and her past. I've always wanted to express my feeling into words, and Shizuma is really the right choice X3 I want to introduce Shizuma as an elegant, strong princess character and Kaori is more of frail princess character, what a perfect combination... but nothing is more interesting than writing her dark side and past! I hope to write longer chapter next time.**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3 - FEAR**

''Alright girls, we'll stop here. By tomorrow, I need everyone to submit their French composition and review from this day topic. Forget it and trust me, you'll enter the sisters office in no time.'' said Mrs. Ada, the French instructor boldly.

She has an unquestionable reputation for sending her pupil out without mercy and they always end up crying or even the worst, the most honorable and well-known punishment throughout the school: purifying the old historical pond, decorated with green full-grown algae which sprout at a faster rate than the power of human cleaning them. Sometimes, the sisters include another disgraceful historical job, cleaning a tower with fourteen dusty pairs of stairs. Considering their old tale and ghost legend, it might be acceptable enough to call them 'honorable'.

Miyuki straighten herself and walk towards Shizuma desk. ''Got a minute?'' ask her directly.

Shizuma leer at her, being cautious. But she cooperate quietly and follow Miyuki's trail without asking anything. After all, nothing serious has been appearing lately.

They stopped in front of the student council room. Before the situation became more awkward between them, Miyuki started their conversation.

''Yesterday, I receive complains from our juniors, Takahashi-san and other girls who claim to be your unseriousness love victim.''

Shizuma green eyes somehow turns cloudy hearing those unimportant speech. ''ah, that... dont concern yourself, Miyuki.''

Plak! Miyuki slap Shizuma face all of a sudden without hesistation. ''...True, I dont see any connection it has to do with me. But anything concerning Kaori, will definitely involve me.'' said her with straight expression.

Shizuma startles a bit, but didn't let Miyuki realize how it bugs her a lot. ''I never mention anything about her.'' return Shizuma while fixing her hair, trying her best to stay composed.

''Look, I've never been interested to step on your love life. Shizuma, without a word coming out from you, I knew your harsh, careless action revolves around her. How many years do you think I've spend watching and standing by your side?'' ask Miyuki.

''Miyuki...''

''Shizuma, I deserve an explanation, as your friend.''

''...I just sense the need to embrace those girls and it's not like that I force them to do things.'' said Shizuma carefully.

''Without any feelings?'' ask Miyuki again, trying to dig out more.

''All the girls I have been together up till now suits my taste perfectly. Of course I love them, Miyuki. Don't be so silly...'' reply Shizuma as she kiss her long, sweet-scented hair with her eyes still looking at Miyuki.

Miyuki sighed. ''No, Shizuma. The fact that you can say 'I love them' easily proof that you're not in love with anybody. You really do change, Shizuma...''

''What part of me changed, my cute silly friend? You can't even guess what I'm longing for... how courageous of you, judging my flawless heart and love.'' Shizuma caress Miyuki's blue hair while her friend stand, responding to Shizuma dangerous glare.

Miyuki take a step away from Shizuma. ''You... have sealed your love away since Kaori's death...''

''Miyuki, I do still have my feelings with me.'' said Shizuma. But she's more to convincing herself rather than convincing Miyuki, who were now looking very upset hearing Shizuma hard-headed words.

''Wrong!'' scream Miyuki, frustated, making Shizuma stand in a shock. Shizuma never thought that Miyuki would shout at her.

''Just... dont say anything more...'' Miyuki turn around. ''My friend... was a dazzling person whom I adore for all this years. But right now, you're just like an empty soul lurking around. You feel and view other people through your blind heart, let alone to love anyone when you can't even recognize yourself clearly.''

Miyuki walk away silently, leaving Shizuma alone with anger building up within her heart.

* * *

**LITERATURE CLUB**

''Tamao-san, can you re-do your poetry? It's a lot better than before, but it didn't pass my expectation yet.'' said Kana, the Literature Club vice president.

''Is it... really that bad?'' ask Tamao shyly. She still isn't very sure whether entering the literature club is really the best choice for her. Futhermore, it has been quite a while since she compose her writings.

''Ah, don't get me in the wrong way. From the start, if I can't sense any ability in you, I wouldn't have approve you during the club meetings. We just need to guide and polish your skill, Tamao-san.''

''Right... excuse me then.'' Tamao bow once more and leave immediately. She need to refresh her mind and going for a stroll may be a great idea.

When she step outside, the wind blows gently and she can smell different scents of trees and flowers. Sweet majestic fragrance of pink roses, the beauty of cherry blossoms with their flowers hanging beyond her reach draw her even closer. Petals of flowers dropping on her shoulder please her a bit.

''It's beautiful, isn't it?'' said someone from behind.

Tamao smile as she recognize that voice. ''Yes... it's beautiful. Kagome-chan, what are you doing here alone?''

Kagome squeeze her teddy bear tighter. ''Tamao-senpai... is something wrong?''

''...You're really sharp, Kagome-chan.'' said Tamao confused, but she continued. ''My writings were rejected by Kana-senpai. I need a new inspiration quickly or else, I'll lose my reputation.''

''Isn't it here...?'' said Kagome.

Tamao look around. ''What's here?''

Kagome shook her head. ''Pashibaru said... isn't the inspiration here, Tamao-senpai...?''

Tamao stun in a shock. ''Here... You are right, Kagome-chan! Thank you very much!'' exclaim her happily.

''Can you write it now?''

''Yes, I want to express my feeling rightaway now. You want to look at it?'' offer Tamao. ''With Pashibaru too?''

Kagome nod slowly. ''I'll stay here...''

* * *

**One hour passed...**

****''It's finally done!'' said Tamao, putting her hands up. Her eyes looks relief and her face radiates with excitement.

''Kagome-chan, look! It's do..'' Tamao stop her lines and grin. Kagome fall asleep while waiting for Tamao.

''Eheh, her sleeping face is too irresistable...'' said Tamao as she pet her and whisper near Kagome's ear. ''Thank you, Kagome-chan...''


End file.
